I don't know what he does, but he does something..

2/21/2010 03:44:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

Awesome player or just awesome chemicals?

I've got me a theory. I hadn't meant to mention it before the games in case Alex Ovechkin's mates read this and came to get me. I shouldn't want to wake up in some sort of Siberian Gulag with an unfortunate fate awaiting me...Also he might have scored six goals a game and made me look like an arse, but since this is a slow news day I thought I'd discuss it anyway.

They're wondering in the hockey news circles why Alex Ovechkin hasn't really produced the same kind of blistering performances for the Reds as he does every couple of nights for the Washington Capitals.

It might be he's just not yet tooned into the games, but I'm wondering if it's something altogether more sinister than that. He's so much more explosive than any other player in the NHL, one wonders how he manages to keep it up over the course of a season. One wonders..

To quote Carl Lewis after his coming second to Ben Johnson in the 1988 games.."I don't know what he does to find that speed, but he does something." Wink wink nudge nudge. This obviously translated to, "he's a cheating drug taking bastard."


Carl Lewis was too as it happened, his drugs were obviously just not as good. So anyway, back to Ovie. The NHL's drug testing is relaxed to say the least. They don't even bother to test players in the play-offs. The Olympics on other hand is altogether more stringent.

Now I'm not suggesting Alex Ovechkin is usually hopped up on goofballs and all kinds of chemicals from steroids to cough medication, but it might explain why he's not playing that same kind of hair on fire hockey he's become famous for and why his performances in the week leading up to the Olympics for the Caps weren't so good either - 0 goals and no assists in three games.

Russians of course by their very nature are cheating under-hand bastards. It's in their blood. So this isn't beyond the realms of possibility. I'm willing to run with this theory until I am proved, like Ovie's shooting at the moment, to be hopelessly wide of the mark.

With this in mind people, I'm sleeping a wee bit easier given my investment in Canada to win gold and I'll be taking the 15/8 tonight for the Czechs to beat Russia. Obviously now I've said all this Ovechkin will score several goals and burst into flames while he celebrates and this post will vanish from my blog at a speed the Russian ministry for Alteration would be proud of.

Monies or Gulag awaits.

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