Natural phenomenon

10/10/2009 05:43:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

Since I became a Mexican the England football team has held no interest for me save the fascination I continue to feel for Emile Heskey's inclusion. I believe him to be a legitimate phenomenon.

I have yet to hear a conclusive and cogent argument that could explain his place in professional sport let alone his place in the England team. "He can hold the ball up," is about all the justification most fans can muster.

Not a very compelling argument. I cannot run, shoot, tackle or head the ball. I do however have coordination enough to control a ball and give it to someone else. But I could not get into my local Sunday league team with this skill alone. It would not be enough if I couldn't do anything else. Yet Heskey who arguably isn't as accomplished as me at holding the ball up, has 58 England caps.

When planes approaching Gatwick or Heathrow airports happen to fly over Wembley Stadium when England are playing, the pilot should point out to his passengers that if they look down they will see something inexplicable and remarkable, because Heskey's inclusion in the England team is more remarkable than Saturn's rings or the northern lights, because at least science can explain those things.

I have no axe to grind as far as England's team go. If Mexico don't win the World Cup I don't care who does, so I say this without prejudice or malice; England cannot possibly win the World Cup with Emile Heskey at one end of the pitch especially if Rio Ferdinand is at the other.

The northern lights: Brighter than Heskey yes. More remarkable than his international career, no.

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