Back to the present

9/04/2009 05:06:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /


Now that I've emerged from my reminiscences I've had some time to catch up things wot 'ave occurred while I was back in the past. This Eduardo diving business has jolly well got my dander up I don't mind telling you. It's all bollocks of course. Michel Platini has found an opportunity to put the boot into Arsene Wenger and sod the consequences.

Some of the responses from various players and managers have been jaw droppingly hypocritical for a change. Ferguson and Rooney, dear lord, they must have wet their pants after giving their respective opinions on the matter. Ferguson wets his pants after any interview of course, but on this occasion he would have even with a robust pelvic floor.

Wayne Rooney has built a career out of diving and Ferguson taught him how and yet our footballing media have let them sit there and applaud the ban handed out to Eduardo who isn't even in the same class as Rooney or Steven Gerrard. They get a free ride of course because the newspaper dudes won't get to have their cosy little chats with them and be all chummy if they slate them, so it's just a crusade against all the unscrupulous cheating Jonny Foreigners who all play for Arsenal.

It goes without saying I'll be taking on temporary Croatian citizenship this week. I became a Mexican in 2006, but for this week I'm Croatian. I will be meeting with the devil himself later on this evening to barter for an Eduardo hat-trick on Wednesday. I'm prepared to offer anything except my new Lego set.

I thought I'd prepared myself adequately for the inconsistencies of football, but I'd forgotten that Arsenal are subjected to 15% more injustices and silly bollocks on average than any other team and my need to believe in a just world is breaking under the strain as a consequence.





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In other news, as I was immersed in series 9 of Grange Hill I missed the 70th anniversary of Neville Chamberlains address to the British people informing them of the declaration of war on Germany. Have you read it? Some things may have changed in 70 years, but the utterly tenuous justification for mass slaughter haven't.

It could have been written by Tony Blair or George W. Bush. Swap Berlin for Baghdad andi t's Blair's and Bush's speeches prior to their invasion of Iraq almost verbatim. Where have you heard this kind of nonsense before?:

"This morning the British Ambassador in Berlin handed the German Government a final note stating that, unless we heard from them by 11 o'clock that they were prepared at once to withdraw their troops from Poland, a state of war would exist between us.

I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this country is at war with Germany. You can imagine what a bitter blow it is to me that all my long struggle to win peace has failed. Yet I cannot believe that there is anything more, or anything different, that I could have done, and that would have been more successful.

Give up weapons of mass destruction or it's war bucko - Ultimatums given but refused - No other choice but to declare war - A very difficult decision indeed - We had no choice but to invade.

Erm...except of course to stay out of it. Seventy years ago we could have just sort of carried on just having an Empire that covered a quarter of the globe and you know, not surrendering it all to America and then not having to hand over our independence to an EU that wouldn't exist. That sort of thing.

The choice on both occasions to keep our noses out would have worked just fine thank you very much indeedy. Certainly there's little doubt it wouldn't have created a worse future for us than the one we got. Had the German's just been left to it I can see no reason why the world today would be any less of a dung pile. Yeah I said it, I said that shit.

Hitler was never interested in us or our Empire. Nothing he ever did suggested he had any interests at all in invading our fair land until we declared war on him at a time when our armed forces consisted of a really angry man in Kent with his own rifle and veterans from the first world war who if you pieced them together made four whole soldiers.

Sigh! That's depressed me. I might watch some more Grange Hill.

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