Arbitrary Cheltenham bets

3/07/2009 06:24:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

Cheltenham in many ways is a lot like making love to an ugly woman - it happens when you're very drunk and afterwards you wonder why you bothered. So with that in mind, I've decided not to take this year's festival too seriously with a view to making it to Friday without an empty wallet and without a crushing sense of depression requiring weeks of counselling and oral sex.


Paddypower gave me a few free bets today which was nice of them so I've placed a few sage Cheltenham wagers with that, instead of my own money and what not?

Tuesday will be our most profitable day and if it isn't, who cares about the rest of the week, I'll just sleep through it.

So anyway - we'll start with the Supreme Novices Hurdle which I'll have to get up early for. I've gone for Kempes. The thing about this race is that it's always won by a horse. And since Kempes is indeed a horse, surely it's got as good a chance as any? And at 16's well, you'd be a fool not to lump on.

A horse yesterday

The Arkle will of course be won by Planet of Sound. If it doesn't win I'll have a biscuit and not worry about it. The Champion Hurdle will be won by Punjabi. I'm afraid Paul the game won't want to hear this, but my Chihuahua's and an Irish bloke I met in the co-op are of the opinion that Binocular is the Detroit City of Cheltenham 2009, which is to say it is indeed the lay of the festival. A damn shame, but if it's any consolation to him, money is the root of all evil.

We have a day off on Wednesday as it is traditionally my betting Sabbath. But on Thursday our winning streak will continue with Big Zeb winning the Queen Mother and Fair Point winning the Challenge Cup.

On Gold Cup day our awesome week's wagering will conclude with Albertas Run winning the big one to shocks and gasps from the whole racing world and wild cackling laughter from me as I dance about rubbing £50 notes into my naked body.

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1 comments:

Comment by Unknown on 7 March 2009 at 23:01

When i'm rich you will pay for this, just see if you don't! Dear me i sounded a bit like a young Jeffrey Archer there.

Oh well, there's nothing i can do now, what will be will be, but lets just say i'm still quietly confident ;)

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