The running man

2/09/2009 05:43:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

A rather more expensive weekend than I had anticipated has made the £10 PLO re-buy tonight at the Fox seem an unappealing struggle..like making love to Jo Brand with her on top.

Who's yo mama

I feel obligated to play however as there's no telling when I may get a further opportunity to complete the Pigeons/Fox double. I have a plan however; inspired by some of the moves I witnessed this past weekend in Walsall, any pots I lose I'm simply going to claim anyway. I'll argue that I had different cards to the ones I thought I was playing and win the pot on a technicality. Stealing pots with bluffs is all part of the game, so literally stealing pots ought to be allowed too, no?

I must record this incident here for posterity. It'll amuse me to come back and read this at a later date. The incident, which is I think the most bizarre episode I've ever witnessed at a poker table - stranger even than Tim's value bets - occurred during a cash game.

We're paying a round of Omaha and a round of Hold 'em with blinds at £2 + £2. The hand was at heads-up stage between Alan and a perfectly balanced man - half man half Kronenbourg - who, to be fair to him, was an utter cock.

I forget how the betting went, but with about £250 in the pot and at showdown stage Alan tabled his hand and Kronenbourg tabled his hand also, but in stages. He did have the best hand, the problem here however was he had five cards and we were only playing four card Pot Limit Omaha.

But I had the best hand

The dealer tried to explain to the guy that his hand was dead because it's his responsibility to not be a complete penis and notice he's playing with five cards. The floor man is called over and he repeats the dealers declaration.

Kronenbourg is having none of it though and demands that Tikay is consulted, although it has absolutely nothing to do with him as he's TD of the APAT tournament in progress at the time. He may as well have phoned Doyle Brunson, he was wrong and he knew it.

Fair play to him, he was tenacious to the last. With all hopes of claiming the pot gone, he decided he'd have it anyway and simply scooped it up and ran off! Ha..what the fuck! For a second or two all those players at the table, including myself, and those railing seemed stunned into silence. Not quite sure if he'd really just done what our collective eyes were telling us he'd done.

He had done it though, he'd legged it with £250. He may as well have just stolen some one's wallet. And suddenly we were all shouting at him to come back and I think a woman may have fainted during the subsequent chaos.


Now known as the Running man, I think they found him crying in his car a few minutes later - his car!! Jesus he was driving? That's only just occurred to me how wrong that is. How wrong he is. Utter utter knob jockey. Eventually Alan was reimbursed and I assume the guy has now been banned, but what the fuck!

You see this is what happens when cousins make love. Fun times. An eventful weekend if not a profitable one.

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