Surely this is a joke no?

12/06/2008 02:41:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /



This is about as much crap and bullshit as your can fit in such a small space of time. Whoever David Cameron's economics adviser is, he needs to bring some crayons into his next meeting and start drawing poor David some pictures, cause he's clearly not understood whatever it is he's been putting on his flip charts and power point presentations so far.

I'm not suggesting I have the answers, I do not people. Economics is a complex subject because a lot of the time there are no hard and fast answers...also I spent most of my time in college, when I should have been asking my Economics lecturer some searching questions, attempting to become the most obnoxious little gobshite I could be. But notwithstanding this, even I can see that the stuff in this Conservative party political broadcast is nonsense.

By way of a metaphor, let's say you're in a wee theatre and a magician is about to bust an awesome card trick on the audience's asses. He picks two people from the audience, he hands one a deck of cards, let's call him Steve from Rotherham, and asks him to check them and then shuffle them. Once he's done this he asks Steve to fan them out face down in his hands.

He then turns to the second member of the audience, Helen from Cambridge, and asks her to think of a card and say it out loud. "The ace of hearts," she says. The magician then turns to Steve, looks at the deck of cards and reaches for the card he declares will indeed be the ace of hearts. Let's do some maths quickly people, what are the odds of him picking the card out?

Judging by this film of his, David Cameron after a session with his adviser, would confidently answer 1 in 52 to this question because he's not capable of looking any deeper than just the basic mathematics. He woudn't for example, have considered the fact that we're talking about a magic trick here and it's very rare for a magician to not pick the right card out.

I'd point that out to David over tea and vol-au-vents at one of his constituents surgeries and he'd say aaah I see hmm yes yes, it's 100% then. But what if the magician gets it wrong on purpose? They do that you know, to set up a better ending to the trick later on. They do do that don't they...they do, they do though don't they though.

What if he turns to Helen with the nine of diamonds in his hand and the audience laughs and she shakes her head, but then he points at her waist and asks her to hike up her skirt and low and behold, the ace of hearts is slotted neatly between the pinkness of her minge lips?

When attempting to lift the nation out of Economic ressession and prevent us all from eating each other and having to drink our own piss, Economics like card tricks, requires one to think out of the box if you'll excuse the pun. Neither Cameron or Gordon Brown appear to capable of doing this or just don't care to.

The business owner in this broadcast actually seems to be suggesting that it's unfair he has to pay bills! "If I didn't have to pay VAT I'd have loads more staff." Huh? If I was better looking and was hung like a St Ledger winner I'd get more shags, but I don't., that's life. If you want to live in a capitalist society and make you're own way, you have to pay a price, that's how it works.

Of all of your overheads, the tax man is the first in line. Two certainties in life fella, death and taxes. How is deferring a VAT payment for six months going to help you anyway? It just means in six months time you'll be even more fucked and lose even more staff.

If your water had been cut off and you were down to half a pint of the water you had stored up and hadn't drunk anything for four days, but suddenly you drop a cigarette on the rug and a little flame starts to grow into a proper fire...if we say for the sake of argument that you can't get out of the house...David Cameron is suggesting that instead of using that water to douse the flames, you should actually drink it instead so you don't die of thirst and then hope that a fire engine just appears to put out the fire in the next twenty minutes or so.

Put the friggin fire out first...you'll definitely die if you dont, and it'll be a horrible painful death. Drinking you're own piss won't kill you, it just won't be very pleasant. This dude who owns a building business, needs to pay his tax and if it means laying off some people, tough I'm afraid. If he keeps people on and avoids paying his bills everyone will be homeless within a year.

I'm sorry to bang on about this stuff, none of this really matters to me of course cause I resigned from the world ages ago, but it still alarms me that had I not resigned, I'd be living in a land where the leader and potential leader of my country, really have no idea what they're doing and the media don't seem interested in highlighting this.

Gordon Brown has got no chance of throwing this election if Cameron keeps this out. He's being out-dumbed. Brown's approval rating is actually going up for fucks sake!! This whole mess is his fault, but some how he's got everyone believing he's got it all in hand. Even if the banking system in the US hadn't collapsed we'd still be in a recession. We're in a far deeper hole than everyone else and Gordon still has the front to claim to be the best chancellor ever ever ever. He's fishing for an electoral bruising, but can't hook anyone.

It's you people I feel sorry for. The end.

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