Monkey business

11/28/2008 12:34:00 am / The truth was spoken by Rich /

In parts of India they consider Monkeys and rats sacred. Despite these bloody awful creatures keeping the local communities perpetually infested with diseases that kill hundreds of people a year they continue to believe that they're some sort of representation of their various Gods or some stupid shit like that. Fucking grow up India.

They compound their baffling beliefs with a glaring contradiction in the form of squads of dudes who patrol the streets with even bigger monkey's and their job is to scare the hundreds of monkeys away from any particular street because they're inconveniencing the locals. They don't kill them though, they just move them on to another street, and when too many of them have gathered in that street, they use the bigger monkey's again to scare them off to another street and so on and so on forever. Meanwhile the monkey's are mating and their population exploding and slowly but surely over-running the place.

They never solve the problem, which is too many monkey's, because their beliefs deny them the power to slaughter the whole bally lot of them and have done with the issue once and for all and finally give themselves a community free from rabies and the plague and whatever the hell else they're all riddled with. All because they're so fucking stubborn and insecure they can't let their ridiculous beliefs go. They're letting their cities become swamped with these most hideous creatures and will continue to do so until everyone has rotted away from horrific skin diseases.

This is a pretty accurate metaphor for Gordon Brown's answer to this economic crisis that he let Alistair Darling present to the public last week. All they're doing is moving debts from one year to another with the help of even bigger borrowing. Each year it grows and grows until finally they can't borrow anymore cause even a Government can run out of credit and the debt is too big to finance and we become a bankrupt nation. All because Gordon Brown is too fucking stupid and stubborn to admit his belief that you can borrow your way out of a recession isn't based on a premise of absolutely horse shit economic theory.

What I'd like to see is a real qualified economist tell Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling to fuck off. Why do news channels interview George Osbourne for his opinion instead of someone with actual economic expertise? What do they expect the shadow chancellor to say, it's a fucking awesome plan we love it? They're playing football with our financial future and the news dudes are letting them. I don't want to know what George Osbourne thinks, he's not an Economist.

I don't want to hear what some random member of the Labour Party thinks either. I want Alistair Darling and Gordon Brown to have to sit down live on TV for two hours with a panel of Nobel Prize winning economists to explain why they think reducing VAT by 2.5% is going to save our financial bacon and if that panel isn't satisfied I want them to not be able to fucking do it.

In five years time we'll have no money. We'll have no police force, no fire dudes, no bin men, the hospitals will be all dark and manky and full of people with leprosy like India. It'll be anarchy. This is what blind faith does to the world. No facts, no evidence, no science, just blind faith, close your eyes and roll the dice. It's religious economics.

New Labour's Geneses in 1997 has led us to the brink of an apocalypse in just over a decade with their book of economic Revelations. I've started learning Polish. I'll have moved east way before the four horseman come cantering into view. I hope they'll let me in after the way we treated them when they came over here. It's no wonder they all fucked off back there once they got a good look at this place.

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