You must be choking (see what I did there?)

10/18/2008 12:59:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /

Boomp3.com

I'm not sure how Tampa Bay managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory a couple of days ago in Boston, but let's hope they finish the job tonight. My interest in Baseball has now been reduced to just wanting Boston to lose cause I don't really like them. A World Series contested between Tampa Bay and Philadelphia has no more appeal to me than licking a female table tennis players arm pit and you can quote me.

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The Blackhawks have built on the foundations laid after a great end to last season by firing their coach Denis Savard four games into the new campaign. Awesome thinking. This is the sort of thing Newcastle or Spurs do, I see no logic in this sort of behaviour, particularly when the next game is a road trip to St Louis.

This rivalry is Arsenal v Spurs in equivalence and I'm not confident. I allow myself to wager on Blackhawks games which is strictly taboo where Arsenal are concerned, but I won't be touching this game. I'll just watch it on JustinTV and wince every time the Blues score and the season goes tits up before it's even begun.

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The tits of Arsenal's season have been quite up also the last couple of games. Everton are usually a banker though and with David Moyes, who has no eye-brows, using words like "hope" and "faith" in his interviews, we really ought to be able to thrash out three points today.

When a manager uses that kind of language he's essentially saying I'm not in charge, I canny do nothing about how shite we are and maybe God will throw us a bone. If we can't beat a team whose tactics board just has a prayer on it I resign from football.

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What's wrong with kids these days? Why don't they play conkers anymore? Can you get conkers on the Nintendo Wii? I happened across a row of Horse Chestnut trees recently and on the ground were cabillions of huge conkers. That's a sight that would never have been seen when I was a nipper, no sir.

Whenever I went conker picking on a misty autumn afternoon all the bestest ones had already been had away by the local urchins and I'd be left scavenging amongst the prickly shells for something that might be competitive in the uncompromising full-contact school playground conker fights. They don't know they're born you know, kids. Don't know they're born. I have a feeling though that parents will be introducing their wee ones to conkers in these tough economic times.

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I don't know much about Formula 1, but I can spot a choker when I see one and I'm quite sure Lewis Hamilton is the most accomplished bottler in professional sports as we speak.

I fancy him to crash out of the Chinese GP or at least manufacture a way of giving up as many points as possible to Massa in the drivers championship.

It looks like he's still 1/4 to win the whole thing, but I really think he's got a great chance of blowing that too. I'll be laying him in both markets just for a laugh. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to have some crisps.

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