The mark of Kane

10/05/2008 02:34:00 pm / The truth was spoken by Rich /


I woke up this morning feeling suitably hungry and relatively bad ass. I've had a delicious cheese, ham and tomato toasted sammich and have untangled my inner knots. Now that I've washed my hands of all peripheral distractions I can focus on hockey. The season began yesterday with a predictable win for the New York Rangers and it deserves all my attention from now until June. In fact people, a trip to Chicago is beginning to seem necessary.

I'm very much looking forward to watching Hockey Night in Canada every Saturday. Don Cherry who does the coach's corner segment is something of a Canadian legend.

To be fair to him, he makes Sarah Palin sound like Oscar Wilde, and I don't know where he gets his suits, but I suspect there's a number of Renault Clios in northern Quebec without seat covers - but I love listening to him.

In Canada people like him are harmless and funny and entertaining. In America they're the President. A fundamental and alarming difference between the two nations, I think you'll agree.

So anyway, this season my team - the Blackhawks of Chicago - actually have a team, which makes the season all the more entertaining. It's a great sport, my favourite sport, but when the team you've chosen to follow has consistently stunk the league up for the best part of a decade, ones interest begins to wane.

Many Patricks are involved, most notably Patrick Sharp and Patrick Kane - a young dude who made his mark on the league last season winning the Calder Trophy as bestest wee one. Jonathon Toews - the captain - was voted second bestest newby. His name is also pronounced "Taves," which I think could only happen in Canada.

Many parallels there are between the Blackhawks and Arsenal as it goes. Young team, fast, lots of goals, not so good defensively. This season they added monster Brian Campbell to the blue line though and this in my opinion adds some strange and experience to the defense. He'll have a similar influence to William Gallas, except he's not quite so mental and is very ginger.

Elsewhere Tampa Bay ought to provide a few laughs as they inexplicably hired a dude called Barry Melrose as their new head coach. This is equivilant to a Premier League team giving Graham Taylor another shot as a manager.

He's sported some beauticious mullets in his time and during his last 13 years as a pundit for ESPN has said some really dumb things. His interviews ought to be fun to watch even if his team aren't.

So some general predictions for the six divisions: In the Eastern Conference it's clear cut in the North-East Division as Boston look the strongest by some distance. In the South-East Washington will see a lot of change politically but no change in the division as the Capitals will surely dominate again. The Atlantic Division is anybody's though except for the Islanders who won't be a threat to anyone until they get a better logo. I'll plump for the Flyers, but there's very little between the rosters of the remaining four teams in that division.

In the Western Conference it's a similar picture. Two divisions are essentially already decided. Detroit will win the Central despite the rennaisance of my boys. San Jose can win the Pacific without breaking into a sweat, but the North-West is a complete mess. The only given in that division is that Colorado will be shit. We'll take a stab at Vancouver though eeking past Calgary, with Minnesota boring their way into the dark horse spot.

I'm shall now make a cup of a tea and prepare for the New York Rangers' second entanglement with Tampa Bay, live from Prague at 5pm. Since most of the league is now from Eastern Europe and no one in Merca watches hockey anymore they like to have the season openers over here to expand their audience. More fool them that's what I always say, eh?

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