Big? Yes. Beautiful? Not so much.

7/26/2007 10:23:00 am / The truth was spoken by Rich /


Now then,

I'm not quite sure what to make of this. Does this man have an incredibly dry sense of humour or does he really have passion for the larger lady? Either way, this is a very catchy song and I found myself singing it earlier today in the Spar when I was purchasing a bacon and sausage sandwich. Coincidentally, there was indeed a big girl behind the counter. I say 'behind it,' she was sort in front of it too, so big was she. The kind of girl who has to put her belt on with a boomerang etc. She wasn't beautiful though. Kind of repulsive actually. And not much of a coincidence either really considering the state of most women over 30 these days.

Each to their own though. Making love to a larger lady is a lot like owning a mini. It's something everyone should do at least once in their life. And if you're gonna do it, do it properly. Pick someone whose silhouette looks like gang of lads coming towards you. Back in the day I could often been found, after a skin-full, trapping off with a creature who most people assumed was the jukebox because of the poor lighting.

They say they're good sport and try harder but I'm not sure that's true; I think it's the extra weight just makes it seem so. And they may have curves in all the right places, but unfortunately, they have an awful lot of curves in the wrong places too. I will say this for 'em though, they certainly know how to knock up a bacon sandwich on a Sunday morning and if you are to wake up next to someone undesirable, it may as well be someone who knows their way around the kitchen, that's what I always say. So in that sense at least, they are beautiful.

2 comments:

Comment by Mlle. Christina on 26 July 2007 at 23:23

That's Mika singing that song, and he's as gay as the day is long. I didn't actually mean for that to rhyme. Anyway, I don't really understand why he's singing about that, but it's worth noting that Freddie Mercury sang about Fat Bottomed Girls, too.

Comment by Rich on 27 July 2007 at 12:52

So did Sir Mixalot. Suddenly it all becomes clear. I think the whoopsies just like to cause trouble for the red-blooded normal types amongst us by encouraging our three spouted woman-folk to turn themselves into repulsive physical monstrosities. I bet that Mika guy went around melting his brothers toy cars when he was a kid and hid himself away playing with his My Little Pony..if you know what I mean.

And if you do know what I mean, can you let me know cause I don't.

Post a Comment