You know why this green movement is nonsense don’t you? All this economically friendly, prevent global warming shizzle is a futile waste of everyone’s time, not because it’s based on questionable science and manipulated statistics created from only 140 years of data and weather records even though the planet has been in existence for a trillion cabillion cazillion years, which should be reason enough to kick this issue into touch, but because Sir Isaac Newton said so, that’s why. Sir Isaac Newton's third law states that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Which, in the context of the environmental debate, means that for every tree hugger, there’s a tree chop-downer.
For a moment, let’s adopt all the common sense and intelligence of a hairdresser from Ilford who’s taken full advantage of happy hour on a Friday night and pretend for a moment that all the data is correct and the planet is in danger if we don’t start cleaning our bottoms with less toilet paper and recycling our rubbish. The bottom line (if you’ll excuse the pun) is that, on the micro-individual level, for every Sheryl Crowe who chooses to wipe using only one square of two ply Charmin, there will be someone like me, who chooses to use a hand-full of four ply Andrex even when I’ve had one of those poos that leave no dregs between the lips of my choccy whiz-whaz.
On the macro-international level, for every Sweden there’s a China or a USofA. In fact, the US and China counter-act the rest of the globes good intentions put together. The reason is because, (and there is a touch of irony here given he USA’s stance on this issue) people don’t like to be told what to do. The eco-friendly lobby have got too preachy. They’re nagging now. They’re not encouraging us to think about our futures, they’re nagging us about it. They’re a housewife who once asked politely if we would take out the rubbish, but are now demanding we get off our fat arses and do it.
No one likes to be dictated to. Even if your cause is a laudable one, mans free will is a much stronger dictation. Again, on the micro-individual level, this is why a parent can’t force kids to eat vegetables, even though it’s good for them. This is why a parent can’t force a kid to dress sensibly even though it’s good for them. On the macro-international level, this is why democracy cannot be forced upon a nation and why Dictators eventually end up being tied up with piano wire and shot by the very people who helped bring them to power in the first place.
One can only encourage, but people, unfortunately for those encouragers, don’t like sacrifice. I think by now it’s OK to say that Jesus’ gesture was misguided if it ever actually happened and he was flattering his cause a little by allowing himself to be nailed to some wood. If people in this day and age are to make sacrifices they’re going to need a damn good reason to make them; some storms and some melting ice-caps which may or may not sink Peckham in five hundred years, I’m afraid don’t come close to a good cause. I’m talking about a very real danger, one which WILL take me out by the end of the week.
During the second world war the ministry of labour approached some Duke somewhere, possibly the Duke of Devonshire with the intention of purging his staff for the war effort. They appreciated his need for 46 gardeners, 13 under-gardeners,7 grooms, 3 chauffeurs, the upstairs maids, downstairs maids, parlour maids and kitchen maids, the chefs, the cooks, the butlers, the footmen and the bee-keeper, but wondered whether his Lordship might be able to manage without two pastry chefs, to which he replied, “damn it all, can’t a man have a biscuit?”
What I'm trying to say is if you are concerned that our species may not survive throughout all of eternity (gasp!!), instead of lobbying me vis-à-vis the number of plastic bottles of pop in my wheelie bin, how about lobbying the various Governments around the world with regard to the proliferation of nuclear weapons? I don't have my calculator to hand, but I think atomic armageddon posses a great threat to our futures than a Mitsubishi Shogun. If you don't have the stomach for that kind of fight, I understand, but don't pick on me instead just so you can feel like some sort of half arsed woolly jumper wearing crusader and because you have nothing else to do on a Sunday. Go to bingo.
Just a thought.
For a moment, let’s adopt all the common sense and intelligence of a hairdresser from Ilford who’s taken full advantage of happy hour on a Friday night and pretend for a moment that all the data is correct and the planet is in danger if we don’t start cleaning our bottoms with less toilet paper and recycling our rubbish. The bottom line (if you’ll excuse the pun) is that, on the micro-individual level, for every Sheryl Crowe who chooses to wipe using only one square of two ply Charmin, there will be someone like me, who chooses to use a hand-full of four ply Andrex even when I’ve had one of those poos that leave no dregs between the lips of my choccy whiz-whaz.
On the macro-international level, for every Sweden there’s a China or a USofA. In fact, the US and China counter-act the rest of the globes good intentions put together. The reason is because, (and there is a touch of irony here given he USA’s stance on this issue) people don’t like to be told what to do. The eco-friendly lobby have got too preachy. They’re nagging now. They’re not encouraging us to think about our futures, they’re nagging us about it. They’re a housewife who once asked politely if we would take out the rubbish, but are now demanding we get off our fat arses and do it.
No one likes to be dictated to. Even if your cause is a laudable one, mans free will is a much stronger dictation. Again, on the micro-individual level, this is why a parent can’t force kids to eat vegetables, even though it’s good for them. This is why a parent can’t force a kid to dress sensibly even though it’s good for them. On the macro-international level, this is why democracy cannot be forced upon a nation and why Dictators eventually end up being tied up with piano wire and shot by the very people who helped bring them to power in the first place.
One can only encourage, but people, unfortunately for those encouragers, don’t like sacrifice. I think by now it’s OK to say that Jesus’ gesture was misguided if it ever actually happened and he was flattering his cause a little by allowing himself to be nailed to some wood. If people in this day and age are to make sacrifices they’re going to need a damn good reason to make them; some storms and some melting ice-caps which may or may not sink Peckham in five hundred years, I’m afraid don’t come close to a good cause. I’m talking about a very real danger, one which WILL take me out by the end of the week.
During the second world war the ministry of labour approached some Duke somewhere, possibly the Duke of Devonshire with the intention of purging his staff for the war effort. They appreciated his need for 46 gardeners, 13 under-gardeners,7 grooms, 3 chauffeurs, the upstairs maids, downstairs maids, parlour maids and kitchen maids, the chefs, the cooks, the butlers, the footmen and the bee-keeper, but wondered whether his Lordship might be able to manage without two pastry chefs, to which he replied, “damn it all, can’t a man have a biscuit?”
What I'm trying to say is if you are concerned that our species may not survive throughout all of eternity (gasp!!), instead of lobbying me vis-à-vis the number of plastic bottles of pop in my wheelie bin, how about lobbying the various Governments around the world with regard to the proliferation of nuclear weapons? I don't have my calculator to hand, but I think atomic armageddon posses a great threat to our futures than a Mitsubishi Shogun. If you don't have the stomach for that kind of fight, I understand, but don't pick on me instead just so you can feel like some sort of half arsed woolly jumper wearing crusader and because you have nothing else to do on a Sunday. Go to bingo.
Just a thought.
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